(AP) New Mil City- The Philadelphia Eagles have filed a tampering complaint against the Dallas Cowboys and Southern New Milford Football Concern player Chris "Bowski" Plank after Dallas owner Jerry Jones and SNMFC stalwart Plank, suggested on a radio show that their respective organizations are often interested in players such as suspended wide receiver Terrell Owens.

"In general, I am a risk-taker. We've gone down that road," Plank said when asked if the SNMFC might be interested in Owens. "I probably have a propensity to try and make things work. ... A top receiver could flourish with Brian Durand. That's always appealing." Jones responded with, "Friggin' A, Chris. Now you see why I'm always on the phone with Chris. Marion Barber was his idea, not mine."

When asked if Jones had a problem with Plank being a Giants fan he responded with, "Didn't I hire an ex-Giant as headcoach? Next question."

NFL spokesman Michael Signora and SNMFC spokesman Mr. Sparkle confirmed Sunday the Eagles filed the complaint over Plank and Jones' remark and said "the matter is under review."

Plank is known to be good friends with Owens. They are both prolific in helping out charities as the photo above shows them at a Chippendale's fundraiser in 2004.

When asked if the league's investigation bothered him Plank stated,"I don't look back, just forward. The NFL commish and SNMFC commish are just worried about that kind of power on one team. They were worried when the AFL and NFL merged. The next merger will be the NFL and SNMFC. If they don't like it, fine me. I won't give up a draft pick, but I'll give compensation of Marks the elder and one of those 3 guys named Nick from Nuptial Nightmare."

Plank was referring to the Vinny Testaverde of the SNMFC Tom Marks Sr. and the young gentlmen simply known to Commissioner Hoose as "Nick.".

November 27, 2005

We in the SNMFC care about the environment. That's why we recycle things. Like this file photo. So screw you for judging us.