By Johnny Waylay
Staff Writer

New Milford - Chris Plank lost his bachelorhood this past weekend. More importantly, he lost a football game.

Team Durand forced four turnovers and produced touchdowns on fifteen consecutive drives en route to a 104-77 victory over Team Planks. Captain Brian Durand, Jeff Hoose, Nick Zinicola, Marc Ferraiolo and newcomer Jeff Bell, overcame a Plank-captained squad featuring the aforementioned groom, a marathon-conditioned Tom Marks, a borderline miraculous touchdown reception by James Hall, the surprise debut of SNMFC rookie Brett Ashwood, and a near-century of quarterbacking experience from "Mr." Marks, to emerge victorious in the third installment of the Nuptial Nightmare.

The infusion of new talent reintroduced an element of speed and athleticism reminiscent of earlier seasons of SNMFC football. The roster was expanded in order to replenish a lineup depleted by the absence of mainstays such as Mike Shemeley and Chris Rooney. Unavailable for comment, it is believed that their absence at the game was due to a scheduling conflict with an Alternative Lifestyle Adult Entertainment convention being held the same weekend.

November 21, 2005

Jamie makes a miraculous catch off the back of Marc Ferraiolo.

Hoose grabs a pass away from teammate Jeff Bell.