New Milford (KnightRidder) - There were a number of huge plays, and an equal number of misplays in Kwanza Khaos V: Apocalypto, but in the end, the game came down to a failed two-point conversion and a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Tom "My Baby Will Kick Durand's Baby's Ass" Marks captained a team of Marc Ferraiolo, Brian Durand and Ben Darling to an improbable 100-98 comeback victory of Jamie "Balls-to-the-walls" Hall's team of Nick Zinicola, Chris Rooney and Kevin Dolan. Tom "Old Man River" Marks Sr. was the automatic QB.

The undersized Marksmen found themselves in a hole early, after interceptions by Rooney and Dolan, and a botched pitchback by Ferraiolo that resulted in a fumble.

A touchdown right before halftime closed the margin to 56-41. During the break, the Marksmen agreed to start going for two to make up the deficit.

They came out of the parking lot like a team possessed, converting the two-point try, and then coming up with consecutive interceptions by Durand and Ferraiolo to take a 58-56 lead.

Hall's team stopped the bleeding with a long touchdown to from Marks Sr. to Zinicola to regain the lead. They appeared to have the lead for good late in the game after Marks' team turned the ball over on downs in the redzone.

However, in what would amount to the most controversial play in SNMFC history, Marks stripped Dolan by the near sideline and recovered the fumble. Hall's team insisted that Dolan was out-of-bounds. With video evidence inconclusive, and each side adamant the other was wrong, they agreed to Rock, Paper Scissors arbitration.

The Budweiser turning point of the game saw Marks smoke Hall Rock/Scissors and Paper/Rock to with the best two-of-three contest.

With both teams staying on serve, Team Hall still had control of the game, and after a TD strike from Marks to Hall, they only needed a two-point conversion to seal the deal. Marks surveyed the field before rifling a pass to Hall in the back of the endzone, only to have it bounce off his hands and fall harmlessly to the ground.

With the score now 98-93, Marks and company needed only two plays to polish off their memorable win: a screen pass to Marks which he took down to the 20-yard line, and then a quick slant to Ferraiolo for the game winning score.

Marks was named by himself as the Theismann winner, for his exemplary Rock, Paper, Scissors prowess, and nary a lad dissented. First-time Norwood winner Chris Rooney was steady as a rock in defeat, however the trophy presentation has been delayed indefinitely as previous Norwood winner Jamie Hall left the trophy at home with the big penny, a pair of Tom's gym shorts that he borrowed in 1995, and enough overdue library books to educate a small African village.

The SNMFC will resume it's season whenever Durand decides to baptize his baby or Hoose decides to get married, whichever comes first.

NOTES...For the second straight year, Kwanza Khaos was held on former SNMFC holiday Boxing Day...despite pleasant gametime conditions (47 degrees, partly cloudly), the field was a soggy mess from steady rain the night before...Marks was 2-0 in Rock, Paper, Scissors, earlier defeating Hall for the right to first pick and ball...they tied six straight times before throwing different signs...after the game, Marks announced that he and his wife Abi were expecting their first child in July...the news was met with much ho-hummedness.

December 26, 2006

Rooney catches a slant over the middle and then gets leveled by Marc

The play that will always be known as "The Fumble"...or "The Not Really a Fumble".

The decisive "Rock, Paper, Scissors" contest that would forever alter the course of Kwanza Khaos history.