New Mil City (AP) - SNMFC Commishioner Jeff Hoose and SNMFC Psychopath Mike Shemeley are among the latest to declare themselves inactive for Jiblet Jam Ten: Snakes on Hill and Plain.

Shemeley indicated last week that he would not be able to get Thanksgiving off from his job in New Hampshire, were he works as a dancer entertaining Japanese business men. "If you're willing do a little extra, the tips are really good this time of year," he said.

Meanwhile, Hoose also announced that he would not be able to leave his job in Las Vegas, where he is in the cast of the all-male review: "Opie, Beaver and the Fonz: a G-String Salute to Television's Golden Age".

Also absent from Jam X will be Nick Zinicola and Marc Ferraiolo, who will be looking at summer rental properties in Provincetown, Rhode Island.

Finally, Ben Darling will not be able to attend either. He will continue his work as a programmer, writing a program that will let SNMFC webmaster Tom Marks randomly generate manhood-challenging excuses as to why his fellow footballers won't be able to attend future games.

The only good news so far, is that Chris Rooney has been upgraded from questionable to probable with his inflammed homosexuality.

The Game Day roster, as it currently stands:

Defintely IN Tom Marks, Jamie Hall, Chris Plank, Kevin Dolan, Brian Durand, Pat Rooney, Marc Lucente

Definitely OUT Jeff Hoose, Mike Shemeley, Nick Zinicola, Marc Ferraiolo, Ben Darling

Defintely NOT SURE Chris Rooney, Shawn Handyside, Scott Lucente, Old Man Marks, Brett Ashwood, Tim Herring, Jack Durand, Marc Gambone

The SNMFC begins its 12th season with Jiblet Jam Ten: Snakes on Hill and Plain, on November 23 at 9am.

November 20, 2006

Jeff Hoose, seen in costume playing Timmy in a recreation of the classic episode, "Happy New Year, Lassie!".